Interesting Possibilities

Rick Bass once wrote:  "There's an enormous difference between being a story writer and being a regular person. As a person, it's your duty to stay on a straight and even keel, not to break down blubbering in the streets, not to pull rude drivers from their cars, not to swing from the branches of trees. But as a writer it's your duty....to view everything in life, however outrageous, as an interesting possibility."

I quote this now in the hopes of the slightest redemption for my behavior that perhaps doesn't always fall as neatly under the column of "regular person behavior."  But, I also quote it to say this:  "viewing everything in life, however outrageous, as an interesting possibility" is amazing.  It's makes life infinitely more entertaining. I highly recommend it for people of all sorts--not just the writing sort.

How is this accomplished?  Any number of ways.  An example:  recently I was texting a friend when, as usual, my phone autocorrected with something ridiculous.  As I began to replace the autocorrected word with the word I had actually been trying to type, I paused.  And, in an instant, interesting possibility met with my love of word games and nearly clapping my hands in giddy delight, I thought:

New Game!!

The rules:  Type out whatever text you're attempting to send.  When reviewing said text if any words are incorrect, you may replace them with the correct word, but must also use the incorrect word at some point in the text.

Sometimes, it's not such a big deal:

A text to Chris that should have read:  Well, since it's just you and I--I thought we could dine first and then hike?

But, my stupid phone made "you" into "toy".  So, now I have to use the word, "toy."  The resulting text is:

Well, since it's just you and I--I thought we could dine first and then hike?  Don't toy with me white boy!

He, I'm sure, thinks I've lost my mind--but, frankly, he's accustomed to it--so, not such a biggie.

Or, I attempt to text a friend about an incident she bore witness to:

Well, that was not terribly professional on her part.

Professional, became "prosaic".

So, she received:  Well, that was not terribly professional on her part.  In other news, buckle up boys and girls, this lady is feeling prosaic!

To which, she replied:  Like you wanna write something?  Aren't you always?  You know, prosaic?

She had a point. 

Then, another friend texts me about needing work-out inspiration and I try to say:

You could do my 90 day hiking challenge if there's a good trail nearby?

But, my phone made "hiking" into "hooking."  So, I say:

You could do my 90 day hiking challenge if there's a good trail nearby?  Or...there's always hooking! 

The pregnant pause after my text leads me to believe she was stunned into immobility.

Obviously, I could (and perhaps even should) have chosen a sentence like:  "Or, how about hooking things up with a local gym...getting a personal trainer?"

But, where's the sport in that?

This new game has led to all sorts of interesting conversations.  And, yes, were you to try this, someone, at some point WILL respond:  Wtf are you talking about?!?!

To which, I generally reply:  Wtf are YOU talking about?!?!


As for the rest of Rick's quote..well...unfortunately, I can relate to that as well.

My people, I have blubbered in streets.

I once blubbered on a street IN Disneyland (aka happiest place on earth).

And, I've pulled rude drivers from their cars...

Well...ok...not EXACTLY.  I didn't pull him.  But, once, when I was living in California and another driver was driving dangerously erratically, I confronted the driver at a gas station.  I was standing on a curb and he was at street level and still, he towered over me (and I'm 5'8"--so this guy was ginormous) and so I had to keep jumping to try to speak face to face: 

Me:  *jumps* What on earth ..*jumps*...is the matter..*jumps*...with you?!
Ginormo:  Lady...go get in your car before...
Me:  *jumps* Before what? *jumps*  Huh? *jumps and looks sternly into his face and points a disapproving finger at him*
Ginormo:  Lady...
Me:  *jumps*  What if...*jumps* my baby...*jumps* had been in the car?!?!
Ginormo:  Oh my God...Lady!  Seriously!
*crowd begins to gather*

I should maybe mention at this point that, as I jumped and had been looking directly into his face, I had noticed that he had a teardrop tattoo under his eye that I didn't take as a positive sign for my safety.  Plus, as I took in his attire, I realized that his wife-beater and torn jeans didn't exactly bode well either.  And, then, when HE noticed the gathering crowd and began to feel, perhaps, emasculated and proceeded to take OFF the wife beater, I began to think maybe this entire scene was ill advised.

My voice took on a shrill quality that I had never heard in it before, and haven't heard in it since as I shouted the only thing I could think:

Me:  *jumps* You should think...*jumps*...about your MOTHER!
Ginormo:  *throws shirt on ground*  Look, bitch...*looks confused*...wait...my mother?!?
Me:  *places one hand on a hip and points with the other*  Yes, your mother!  How would she feel about you driving like an idiot and practically KILLING a baby!
Ginormo:  *looks around nervously at the crowd* *whispers*  Shhh...c'mon...lady. *more loudly* Your baby wasn't even in the car!
Me: So, your mother would feel better that it was just the mother of an infant that you killed...I see...
Ginormo:  *looks around nervously again*  No...look, lady...I'm sorry, ok?  I'm sorry.
Me:  Good.  Stop driving like an ass. *storms off*

(o maybe more like *runs off* or even *runs away* or even more precisely *runs away, gets in car, locks car, and sincerely tries not to pee pants*)

And, I've certainly swung from trees (who hasn't?).

So, perhaps, the rude driver confrontation was a bit sketchy (please don't ever try such a thing--you'll be killed--I was lucky I wasn't killed--it was a very bad idea, indeed).  However, I'm here to say that looking at everything in life as an interesting possibility can be quite rewarding.  It can even lead to...adventures (one of the finest words in the English language).  Of course, sometimes, though entertaining for you, it CAN make you look like a crazy person to others.

*shrugs* Do you care?

As Emily Dickinson so eloquently wrote,

"Dwell in possibility."

Dwell in it.